How to survive living with roommates in university

By University Study

By Hailey Leggett

Living with roommates can be tough.  But with the right mindset and a bit of collective effort, sharing a living space doesn’t have to disrupt your life, and can be a very rewarding experience.

Beyond the obvious financial benefits, living with student roommates can help reduce stress and foster life-long friendships. From learning how to communicate effectively to navigating shared responsibilities, roommates will teach you what it takes to co-exist with others. 

  • Moving away from home can be overwhelming and scary, but when you’re all in it together, it can feel considerably more manageable. You might feel alone, but chances are, everyone else is just as lost in this exciting new chapter. Navigating university life is easier when you work together. To help ensure a smooth transition and prevent issues later on, here are some important tips to bear in mind: Before signing the lease, it is imperative to set clear boundaries—whether about cleanliness, shared spaces, or room selection. It is super important to make sure that everyone involved is fully committed before finalizing anything. Unspoken doubts can quickly turn into quiet resentment. If you have any concerns about your potential roommates, it is better to address them now before you spend the next eight months feeling stuck. 
  • A strong foundation begins with communication. Open and honest conversations are one of the most important elements to a healthy roommate dynamic. When there is little discussion or transparency, it is easy for conflicts to arise. 
  • Roommate relationships start with trust and transparency, especially when it comes to practical issues like room assignment.  It may feel overly cautious to bring up room assignments before signing the lease. But especially in student housing, this conversation can prevent major disagreements later. In older houses, which are common in student areas, rooms can vary drastically in size and quality. So, consider, if there is an extra-large bedroom, who is getting it and why? You want to avoid the fight that will arise if you ignore the topic, and suddenly someone is moving into the room you wanted.
  • Another important discussion to have before move-in day is the maintenance/organization of communal spaces and how you plan to manage this.  Here are key questions student roommates should ask before move-in day:
  • “How are we going to manage the distribution and rotation of cleaning/chores? 
  • How are we splitting the costs of shared items like dish soap or toilet paper? 
  • What is the guest policy? 
  • Do we want to establish a shower schedule to avoid morning chaos? 
  • How are we going to organize the cupboards and fridge in a fair way? 
  • Are there any food restrictions or allergies that could be a problem?”
  • To avoid misunderstanding, create a shared household schedule to fairly divide up chores and keep things running smoothly. Household schedules are a great way to divide up responsibilities, keep track of tasks and hold each other accountable. It is a great way to hold people accountable while maintaining a fair and reasonable environment. So, grab a pen and start writing things down. 
  • Once the rules are established, document them with any necessary notes or instructions and display them in a common area for everyone to see. 

When making these rules, it is important that everyone is both on board and open to feedback. As the year goes on, it is important to remain flexible. A good way to keep communication open is by holding a monthly meeting to check in on how things are going—what’s working, what isn’t, what needs changes and what needs to change to improve your shared living experience. This gives everyone a safe and open space to express concerns or offer suggestions.

During this time, it is critical to remain patient and respectful. As the year goes on, you will slowly uncover a level of patience you never knew you had. Inevitably, you will get frustrated with everyone at some point or another. This is perfectly normal (to a certain degree). Not everyone works well together, especially when you are sharing the same space for months at a time. What you may find messy, your roommate may not. 

Living with roommates can be chaotic and unpredictable; however, it can also be filled with laughter, bonding and unforgettable memories. You’ll never forget the late-night kitchen debriefs or the time someone did something so memorable that you still laugh to think about it. You need to approach this period with patience, honesty and a sense of humour. Every moment of frustration or annoyance is part of the experience. Take a deep breath and take every moment for what it is. 

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By Bianca McKeown and Olivia Grandy, Carleton University B.J.’25

So, you didn’t get into residence. What are your housing options now?

After the first year of university, many students choose to live off campus.

For off campus living, there are four main options that students consider: getting a place together with friends, living with someone you don’t know who already has a place rented, renting on your own, or renting a room in someone’s home.

It’s important to look specifically at your university and their off-campus housing page as housing varies greatly from city to city.  Consider this comparison between UBC and McGill.

Before making a decision about which housing option suits your needs, it is important to consider the upsides and downsides of each option.

Living with friends

    After first year, most people end up living with their friends.

    Most students either rent a house, condo, or apartment with friends depending on their budget and what they want included in their rent. You should know that often, utilities such as heating, water, and hydro are not included in the rent. Internet is another extra cost that you’ll have to split. Ensuring everyone is clear about their budget limits from the outset is very important.

    You also should consider compatibility when living with friends. Just because you’re friends, doesn’t mean you’ll be good roommates. Often, living with friends can put additional strain and pressure on a friendship, so setting boundaries and having clear communication can make living together easier. UBC Okanagan Campus Transition Advisor, Lindsay Farrugia advises students to be specific with boundaries. “Clean” means different things to different people.

    You’ll need to get ahead of the game when looking for housing. Often, there is an advantage in being the first group to tour a house. This means deciding on your housemates early, and establishing your collective wish list for the ideal rental.  If you’re looking for a May 1st lease, get a group together in January as listings start appearing as early as February and they go quickly. This varies by city though, so scroll through Reddit to find out what lease timing is most common in your city.

    Living with people you don’t know 

      With Facebook Marketplace, this housing option is now increasingly popular among students.

      Often, people will join a Facebook group for student housing in their area. For example, for students in Kingston there is a Queen’s University Off-Campus Housing group you can join. This way, you can find people who are also seeking the perfect roommate match.

      Before moving in, meet up in-person to test your compatibility. Often, someone may seem perfect online, but once you meet up you may see there are huge lifestyle differences you didn’t notice before.

      An advantage of living with someone you don’t know is it’ less awkward to ask the hard-hitting questions from the get-go. Have a list of questions ready to probe how they feel about the living conditions most important to you. Questions can be regarding cleanliness, noise, finances, kitchen and food items, and hosting guests. Farrugia says this is already awkward, so don’t shy away from bringing forward any concerns in a respectful way.

      Before signing any lease, make sure you view the place and meet all the roommates you’d be living with. Though you don’t have to be best friends with the people you live with, compatibility and clear communications goes a long way.

      It’s also important to manage your expectations of the experience. Consider peacefully co-existing with someone a success, anything else, such as friendship, is an added bonus says advice columnist and influencer, Harlan Cohen.

      Ultimately, use your judgment and gut instincts when deciding to live with someone you don’t know. If something feels off, or you notice a red flag, then it’s best to keep looking.

      Living on your own

        If living with other people doesn’t strike your fancy, then you may want to consider living on your own.

        This option may work best if you’re introverted, or have a busy social life and want a break from the hustle and bustle of student life.

        When living alone, the most important aspect to consider is finances. Not sharing a rent and paying the full cost of utilities can be expensive, so making sure you’re financially stable and can afford to live alone is priority #1.

        Safety is another aspect to consider. Make sure doors and windows are locked at all times and consider adding safety measures like a chain lock or bolt lock. It may be a good idea to have a close friend or family member have your location in case anything happens.

        The upside of living alone is that you don’t have to deal with roommates! You have the luxury to do whatever you want, whenever you want. Want to binge watch a movie at 3 am in the living room? Go for it! Want to have friends over? There is nobody to stop you!

        That being said, living alone can get lonely. Make sure you have a good support system of family and friends to keep you company. Things such as getting a plant, picking up a new hobby, or getting a pet can also help ease the lonely blues.

        Rent a room in a house

          Maybe the above options don’t feel right, so you’re looking to rent a room in someone’s house. This option may come with a few sacrifices, but if you can get on the homeowner’s good side and show you’re willing to pitch in, your wallet and sleep schedule may thank you.

          For many students, renting a room means their roommates are often at a different life stage than them — you may find yourself sharing a space with an older couple or in a young family’s basement.  It’s essential you respect the homeowner’s boundaries and keep a low profile noise-wise, especially if you don’t have a private entry. In these situations, you should think of yourself as a guest in the house, hopefully in exchange for peace, quiet and a sense of home away from home.

          Before moving in, have a clear conversation about the owner’s policies on having guests over. When is it appropriate for you to blast your Spotify playlist? Hopefully, the homeowner will consider your need for a healthy level of social interaction. Still, some trust-building may be required before you volunteer to host weekly hangouts with your pals.

          Finally, ensure the room feels genuinely comfortable to you and that it’s actually legal. Every province and city has specific rules about what constitutes a bedroom — often around windows and square footage.

          Additionally, make sure you can imagine yourself feeling safe in the room — the low ceilings don’t make you feel claustrophobic, or you don’t feel like you’re living in a gloried closet. The room is all you’ve got, especially since you’re sharing a space with someone who may not fully understand the student lifestyle.

          International students 

          If you’re from out of Canada and looking for a place to stay, then these four options still apply to you! However, it’s worth doing some extra research to get a feel for the rental market since you might be unfamiliar with what a fair rate looks like. As a transition advisor, Farrugia suggests using Place4Students to get a feel for rental rates in your city. The site is likely partnered with your destination university. Even if you don’t end up finding your dream rental on this site, it’s helpful to navigate shopping within your budget on Facebook Marketplace and Kijiji, she said.

          On the same note, it’s important you’re aware of what a standard lease in your province looks like. For example, in Ontario, there is a standard lease agreement that everyone signs by law. Take a look at what leases look like in your city before signing one!

          If any clause in your lease contradicts the law, it’s technically void. But you still have to pay your rent even if you find a void clause in your lease!

          A dispute between you and your landlord can be tricky to navigate, especially if you want to remain on friendly terms. Farrugia advises students to use the resources available to them. For instance, UBC’s student union offers students support and information for off-campus tenancy, and similar law-student-run support services exist on campuses across the country.

          The main websites and resources students use to find housing are:

          Other great places to look:

          Off-campus housing guides by universities:

          West coast

          Central

          East coast

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          Orientation Week can often be considered as the unofficial start to university life in Canada. If you’re a first-year student, you are probably familiar with all the hype: welcome events, new people, free snacks, cool swag, packed schedules and a lot of energy. 

          But behind the fun and Instagram stories, Orientation Week is also your first real taste of what university is like. And while the week’s activities are intended to be informative and fun, it’s totally normal to feel nervous, unsure or even a little lost. 

          So, if you’re gearing up for your first week on campus, here’s a look at what Orientation Week is and what it isn’t. 

          Friendships take time. You’re not behind if you’re still figuring it out. 

          Orientation is more than fun and games

          There’s no doubt that Orientation Week is designed to be exciting. Between welcome events, themed socials and ice-breaker activities, your calendar will likely fill up fast. But beyond the fun, Orientation is also your first hands-on introduction to how university life works — and that part often gets overlooked. 

          This is the week you’ll start piecing together the daily details of student life. From navigating your schedule to figuring out where to go for help, it’s the behind-the-scenes stuff that sets you up for success later. You'll likely: 

          These necessary first steps early on will make your life easier. 

          Also, check if your university offers optional sessions on practical skills including budgeting, managing stress or time management. They might not sound thrilling, but they’re packed with tips that can save you a lot of stress down the road. 

          You don't need to make friends right away

          One of the biggest misconceptions about Orientation is that everyone immediately finds their best friends for life. But here’s the truth: most students don’t meet their best friends during Orientation Week. You might meet people you connect with, or you might not. Both are completely normal. The friendships that stick often form over shared classes, late-night study sessions or even months down the line.  

          Friendships take time. You’re not behind if you’re still figuring it out. 

          Feeling lost? That's normal too

          Most students get turned around at some point during Orientation — and not just on campus. Emotionally too, the week can feel like a lot. You might walk into the wrong building. You might not know where the library is. You might start questioning everything about your program. It’s all part of the learning curve. Use this week to: 

          You’ll feel more confident navigating campus once you’ve wandered a little. 

          Orientation leaders know what you're going through

          Those loud, cheerful students leading your group? They’ve been exactly where you are — overwhelmed, unsure and maybe even homesick. They can: 

          Don’t be afraid to ask them questions. They’re there to help you. 

          You're allowed to say "No thanks"

          With events happening back-to-back, it can feel like you must do it all. But you really don’t. Orientation isn’t a checklist; it’s a chance to find your pace. You’re allowed to: 

          Setting boundaries now is good practice for the rest of your academic life. You don’t have to do it all to make the most of the week. 

          The classes, friendships and routines will come in time. So, take it one step at a time. And know that it’s okay to not have all the answers right away. 

          One week doesn’t define your whole university experience 

          Some people have an amazing time during Orientation. Others feel awkward, overwhelmed or out of place. Whether you’re loving every minute or just feel like you survived it, this one week will not define your whole experience. If you don’t love every second of it, it doesn’t mean you chose the wrong school or that things won’t improve. There’s still time to find your rhythm. 

          It's okay not to have everything figured out

          University is a big change. If you’re feeling excited and nervous, that’s normal. If you’re not sure where to go, what to join or how to feel — that’s okay too. No one starts university with a perfectly mapped-out plan. Orientation can bring a lot of “firsts”: 

          Here’s the truth: you don’t need to have all the answers. No one does. If you're heading into Orientation Week with a mix of excitement, curiosity and a little anxiety — you’re exactly where you need to be. Ask for help when you need it. Rest when you need to. Try new things at your own pace and talk to people when you’re ready.  

          Whether you’re stepping onto campus for the first time or returning with a fresh mindset, Orientation Week is your invitation to start exploring. You’re not expected to have it all sorted by the end of the week. The classes, friendships and routines will come in time. So, take it one step at a time. And know that it’s okay to not have all the answers right away. 

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          By Cara Gordon, Carleton University, Journalism and Humanities

          I moved from Vancouver to Ottawa sight unseen. If it’s financially viable, don’t discredit the benefits of a cross-country academic experience.

          At the height of the pandemic, I accepted an offer to a university 3,500 kilometres away from home, in the nation’s capital, which I had never even visited before. The closest I got to a campus tour was scrolling the university website. (The fish-eye lens does wonders to make residence rooms look spacious.)

          I had essentially decided on my post-secondary path by grade eleven when a Carleton University recruiter visited my high school in Vancouver. Despite her leading with the killer line, “We have five kilometres of heated underground tunnels,” by the end of the presentation—plus some research on a niche degree stream and varsity athletics program only offered at Carleton—16-year-old me had her heart set on a plan for the next half-decade.

          It seems to me there are three types of university journeys, as far as moving goes—those who stay close to home, those who move far away but continue to come home, and those who move permanently. I know many people for whom university represented an irrevocable change in their relationship with their hometown: an opportunity to build a new life or even a new self. But moving away for university doesn’t have to be as final as that. I consider myself in the second category—I may have an apartment, friends and routines in Ottawa, but where I grew up remains my home base.

          I vividly recall arriving in Ottawa in September of my first year. As Air Canada flight 342 banked over the Gatineau Hills, I peered down at the Camp Fortune ski area. Its comparatively tiny slopes seemed mockingly emblematic of the majestic mountains I’d taken for granted in B.C. Even though Ottawa was humid and sticky that day, I felt like I’d been dunked in cold water. Convinced I’d made a huge mistake by coming here, I seriously debated catching the first available plane home.

          Of course, I didn’t, and I’m still studying here three years later. It’s gotten easier to be away from home for months at a time, but I miss the rain and the ocean. I often catch myself looking at the northern horizon and expecting the familiar blue bulk of the North Shore mountains that framed my world growing up, instead of the Gatineau Hills’ low silhouette. Since my entire family lives in B.C., and I’m the only grandchild studying out-of-province, I miss out on family events such as birthdays and Thanksgiving.

          But by uprooting my life eight months of the year and sacrificing family time and familiarity, I’ve gained experiences that sixteen-year-old me didn’t expect. The academic and athletic opportunities I’ve had are unavailable closer to home. I’ve acquired a wider perspective on national issues living in the capital. And while being away from home has made me appreciate Vancouver more, it’s also made me cherish my independence—there’s nothing like enforced self-reliance to teach self-assurance. That said, I have a close network of friends and teammates here who are even more important to me because of my distance from family and friends back home.

          While statistics show that inter-provincial mobility of Canadian university students has been slowly increasing over the past several decades, the proportion remains low on average. According to the most recent (pre-pandemic) numbers from Statistics Canada, just under five per cent of students at Ontario universities are from a different province, while that population is approximately 12 per cent of B.C. students and eight per cent nationally. Atlantic universities are the outlier here, with Nova Scotia reporting 35 per cent out-of-province students and PEI and New Brunswick nearly tied for second at 23 per cent. However, this higher mobility may be partially representative of student movement between Atlantic provinces.

          However, for prospective students in many parts of Canada, especially rural regions and the Territories, moving far from home is the only option for a university education. Amongst my high school grad class, about a quarter of us left B.C. for university. Although institutions charge only slightly higher tuition for out-of-province students (with the exception of Quebec), when you add travel and living expenses, the experience can quickly become pricey. However, scholarship and bursary programs sometimes consider this added strain when calculating financial need, meaning that an out-of-province education could end up costing the same as one closer to home.

          When I arrived in Ottawa, I was surprised by how few out-of-province students I shared classes with—but soon got used to the shocked expressions when people found out I’m from B.C. “What are you doing here?” they ask, incredulously.

          What am I doing here? I’m learning skills that I will take home with me. I’m gaining a wider perspective on our country and building independence. And I’m learning to appreciate the many different paths that have brought me here and will hopefully eventually bring me home, with broadened horizons and rich friendships.

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