Building a support network in the first-year of university

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When I first arrived at university, I thought the hardest part would be the coursework. I expected long hours in the library, group projects that stretched late into the evening and the occasional night of studying until sunrise before an exam. Those challenges were real, but they were not what left me most exhausted. The real burden came from something quieter, something I had never even heard of before: the mental load.

The mental load is all of the things you think about, plan for and organize that no one else sees. It is not simply what happens inside the classroom. It is the constant responsibility of keeping your life moving while also trying to keep up with your studies.

The Constant Juggle

In between lectures, I would find myself thinking about whether I had remembered to email my landlord if my OSAP (Ontario Student Assistance Program, a government financial aid program for students) payment had arrived and if I could still buy groceries after paying for rent and textbooks. Sometimes, during a lab session, I would suddenly remember that I needed to register for a career fair or renew my student bus pass.

These tasks were not complicated on their own, but together they preoccupied my mind. They became a layer of invisible work that followed me everywhere, even when I was supposed to be focused on something else.

The Many Small Decisions

One thing I never expected was how many decisions I would have to make each day. From the moment I woke up, I was choosing what to wear, whether to walk or take the bus and which assignment to start first. By the time evening arrived, deciding what to make for dinner felt like a major challenge.

This is called decision fatigue. When your mind is busy shifting between so many small choices all day, even the simplest decision can start to feel overwhelming. It is not a sign that you are careless. It is a sign that your brain has been working without pause.

The Responsibilities We Overlook

Alongside coursework, there is a long list of responsibilities that no one includes in a syllabus:

• Answering emails from professors and supervisors
• Updating a LinkedIn profile before a networking event
• Booking medical appointments and renewing important documents
• Keeping a budget so you can pay rent and still have enough for groceries

These tasks may not have deadlines or grades attached to them, but they are essential. As they are not part of the formal academic structure, they can be harder to schedule time for. This means they often remain on your mind until they are done.

Learning to Carry Less

It took me some time to realize that managing the mental load was not about doing more, but about creating habits that reduced the number of decisions I needed to make.

I started eating the same breakfast on weekdays. That small change removed one choice from my mornings and left me with more energy for the day ahead.

I set aside a half hour every other day for administrative tasks. During that time, I answered emails, checked my OSAP account and planned my schedule. Instead of letting those tasks interrupt me throughout the day, I completed them in one block.

When I thought of something I needed to do, I wrote it down in a notebook right away. This helped me trust that I would remember it rather than keeping it in my mind all day.

I also gave myself a few regular choices for meals, outfits and bus routes. Limiting these options made my daily routine feel calmer.

Most importantly, I started taking short walks without my phone. Even ten minutes outside gave me a clearer head and a break from constant input.

Why It Matters

The mental load is a real part of university life and it often goes unnoticed. It is easy to think you are simply bad at managing your time or not working hard enough when, in reality, you are carrying a set of responsibilities that no one else can see.

Recognizing this weight is the first step to making it lighter. By creating routines, writing things down and giving your mind genuine rest, you can protect your energy for the work that matters most.

University is about more than attending lectures and completing assignments. It is about learning to manage the many moving parts of your life in a way that keeps you healthy and balanced. That skill will serve you well long after graduation.

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By Hailey Leggett

Getting a bad grade can take a toll on your mental health and confidence as a student. For most of your life, your knowledge—and often your worth—has been measured by a set of letters and numbers. From an early age, the difference between an A+ and a C- has often felt like the difference between being seen as “smart” and not. You may have been taught that an A meant success while a C meant failure. But that’s simply not the case—and it never was.

Plenty of academic sources will emphasize that grades don’t define your intelligence or self-worth—but believing that for yourself is a different kind of challenge. It’s one thing to hear this message but living it—especially as a university student—is something else entirely.  Unlearning something you’ve believed for years isn’t easy but recognizing that it’s possible is the first step toward change.

The transition from high school to university can be very challenging, especially for those who were high achievers in secondary school. What many students don’t realise is that a drop in grades does not mean you’re not smart or capable, but rather, it reflects the shift to a more competitive and rigorous academic environment. In university, you are often surrounded by people who were similarly high-performing, and the academic expectations tend to be significantly greater. As a result, it is common for grades to decrease during this period. University assessments also tend to be quite different from what you're used to in high school—sometimes major exams can account for 50-60% of your final grade. 

Some courses rely more on memorization, while others are focused on applying concepts. Everyone will have different skills. Some of your peers will be better at application-based content, while others may excel at memorization.  Even if you study for hours, things don’t always go as expected. The grade you receive doesn’t necessarily reflect your knowledge of the subject. The pressure that comes with exams can influence your ability to perform and thus impact how well you do. Don’t let a grade define your interest in the subject.  What matters most is finding joy in what you're learning. 

In university, assignment instructions can sometimes feel unclear or even frustrating.  That’s why it’s important to ask questions early on. Get clarification on even the most mundane details. Some Teaching Assistant’s (TA) can be very particular about how they grade. Understanding the expectations of the person marking your work can help prevent or minimize disappointing scores.  If you’re unsure about a grade, don’t hesitate to ask your TA for feedback. One bad grade isn’t the end of the world. If you are struggling to keep up or feel that you aren’t doing as well as you’d like, bring it up with your teaching team. They are there to help you. You have to start somewhere so don’t let your peer’s grades get in the way of your own achievements. 

When you receive a disappointing grade—because almost everyone does at some point—give yourself time to process your emotions. It can be helpful to create a checklist with some practical steps for next time.  Here are a few things that can help you move forward after a tough grade:

1. Take a deep breath.
2. Review all the feedback carefully and with an open mind.
3. If you disagree with the marking, schedule a meeting with your TA or professor.
4. Visit academic advising sessions or explore support tools.
5. Talk to an upper year about how they managed the course.
6. Re-evaluate how you study and devise a new plan that caters to the class or subject.

As you work through the ups and downs of university, remember that a single grade doesn’t decide your whole future. What defines you as an individual is how you respond to challenges. University is a place and time for growth, change, and self-discovery. You are more than a number on a transcript.  Who you’re becoming matters far more than any letter grade.  You belong at university just as much as anyone else. 

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When I started university, I was quietly hoping for a reset.

I wasn’t bullied or involved in anything dramatic in high school. It's just that I never truly felt like I belonged. I drifted between friend groups, spent lunch breaks alone in the library and often felt like I was watching high school happen from the sidelines. I’d tell myself, “University will be different”. I didn’t know exactly how, but I clung to the hope that it would be.

Spoiler: it was different. But it didn’t change all at once. It started with small moments –some intentional, some unexpected – that helped me feel seen, included and connected.

One of the first surprises about university was how no one cared who you were in high school. It felt like a fresh start – everyone was a stranger, many quietly hoping to redefine themselves. I remember meeting a classmate during orientation who said, “I was really shy in high school. I’m trying to be more outgoing here so bear with me.” That stuck with me. It was the first time I realized that everyone was figuring it out, just like me. It also gave me permission to try something different too.

I didn’t have to impress anyone – I just had to show up.

Those first few weeks were awkward, but also surprisingly meaningful. Everyone seemed open, curious and eager to connect. I made myself go to one welcome event – the Meet and Mingles hosted by the Student Experience Office. And even though I nearly talked myself out of it, going became a turning point. I ended up in a conversation with someone who also hated icebreakers, and we’ve been friends ever since that day. That moment reminded me that connection doesn’t have to start with a perfect introduction. And sometimes, bonding over mutual awkwardness is enough.

Over time, I started looking for small ways to meet people. I said “hi” to someone in lecture. I joined one club that aligned with my interests. And most importantly, I stopped thinking of campus events as awkward. Things like student socials or club meetings aren’t just about filling time but they’re about finding your people. When I joined the student newspaper, I met a group of passionate, creative, thoughtful students who made me feel welcome without me having pressure to perform or impress. I didn’t have to impress anyone – I just had to show up.

It wasn’t always easy. Making new friends as an adult can feel unfamiliar. There’s no assigned seating or group projects to force an interaction. You have to be a little bold, a little awkward and willing to start conversations that might not go anywhere. I began with simple openers like, “Have you taken this professor before?” or “Is this seat taken?”. Not every one of those moments led to a friendship, but some did and that was enough.

What I didn’t expect was how long it takes for real friendships to settle in. It’s not like the movies, where you meet your forever friends in week one. It took time. I kept showing up – at club meetings, in class, at residence events – and gradually, faces became familiar. Familiarity turned into connection. Connection turned into friendship. Some people I barely noticed in September became my closest friends by spring.

You don’t need to reinvent yourself or become the loudest person in the room. You just need to be yourself and be brave enough to try.

Even now, as a fourth-year student with a solid support system, there are still days I feel out of place. But I’ve learned that feeling lonely from time to time doesn’t mean you’re failing at university. It means you’re human. Everyone’s navigating this experience differently, even the ones who seem completely confident.

If you’re coming into university with that same feeling I had – that quiet hope for something better – know this: you’re not alone. There are people on your campus who want connection just as much as you do. I found mine by taking small risks, embracing discomfort and saying “yes” more often than I said “no.”

You don’t need to reinvent yourself or become the loudest person in the room. You just need to be yourself and be brave enough to try.

Your community is out there. Keep showing up.

You’ve got this.

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