Feeling lost in university in Canada? Here’s how I found my path and you can too

By University Study
University student sitting lonely on campus

By Lisha Lao, Student, Carleton University

I was 18 years old when I began studying at university in 2022. I moved from Toronto to Ottawa and it was the first time I’ve ever lived alone. I struggled with so many things. I was lonely, scared and had no idea what I was doing. I constantly asked myself why I decided to move five hours away from my family and friends and if studying journalism was really worth all the trouble. 

I am in my third year now and this is the first year where I really feel this is where I belong, and this is somewhere I could make something of myself. 

I have changed my degree or elements of my degree three times. Each time was difficult and upsetting but the right decision in the long run. 

My biggest struggle was that I felt I needed to know exactly what I wanted to study because in doing so I would know who I wanted to become. I thought being indecisive about university courses was some sort of moral failure I needed to overcome. I thought I was alone and falling behind, when in reality, things were just beginning. 

I isolated myself out of fear and embarrassment when there was no reason to at all. You do not need to suffer alone. What really helped was when I finally went to speak to my academic advisor. She listened to the concerns I had about the classes I was taking and helped me find courses which better suit my interests, and benefit my career path. She guided me on how to speak to professors and directed me to the mental health counselling services on campus. I realized that my struggles were not unique and there were support systems in place for my exact issues. 

Talk to seniors in your field. 

Wanting to switch your major or change your minor is not crazy. It is in fact a common occurrence. 50-70 per cent of students change their major at least once during their studies, according to the University of Toronto

I’ve spoken to advisors, professors, teaching assistants, and upperclassmen. I’ve learnt something from them all. Everything has happened already, there is an extremely high possibility that someone has gone through the same thing and can guide or advise you through it. 

In my second year, I was really insecure about never having published anything as a journalism major. I compared myself a lot to my peers who had published many things and seemed so sure of themselves. I became friends with someone two years older than me who advised me not to let insecurity consume me, and things started to pick up in third and fourth year. She was right. I have taken writing classes and workshops that have trained me further in news writing and given me something to be proud of.

Everyone wants you to succeed. 

This is not to say there will never be setbacks. This is not to say that you will never fail a class, or come across a deeply grumpy teaching assistant or professor. But even failure and rejection have its benefits because it can direct you to the proper outcome or redirect you to a field you are better equipped to excel in. 

It was mentally excruciating deciding whether to change my major or not. I once went to a professor’s office hours to ask what they honestly thought about me remaining in their field of study, and they told me to switch out. This devastated me. However (and I hate to say it) they were right. I switched out of that program and am better for it. 

You pay for support so take advantage of that support.

Most universities in Canada will have a variety of support systems for students to take advantage of. These can come from: the university themselves, your student union, or the faculty your program is in. My university offers the following: 

  • An academic advisor 
  • Career services 
  • 100 pages of free printing every year 
  • Networking events 
  • Guest speaker events 
  • Mental health and wellness counselling 
  • Off-campus housing resources 
  • Eyecare and dental insurance 
  • Library database 

I go to career services when I need help formatting a CV or preparing for a job interview. Networking events always introduce me to peers I never would have spoken to otherwise. Universities are the places to look for information. If you need to know something, look through your library’s database! 

The list above is not an exhaustive end to all the resources offered at universities. Look to see which ones your school offers!

I am not immune to jealousy and still feel insecure about my place in the greater scheme of things, but now I know there are people who are willing to advise me through hardships. 

In your university journey in Canada, you will make mistakes, encounter roadblocks, struggle, but you will become better for it. Keep going, you’re doing great.

I have many peers who are actually better, smarter, and more successful than me and that’s alright. With time, I’ve been able to say that I’m trying my best. I am trying and on track to accomplish my goals. For now that is all I need. 

A degree is made up of what you learn academically and what you learn from seniors in your field. In your university journey in Canada, you will make mistakes, encounter roadblocks, struggle, but you will become better for it. Keep going, you’re doing great.

Current Language: en
Post ID: 1394
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When I first arrived at university, I thought the hardest part would be the coursework. I expected long hours in the library, group projects that stretched late into the evening and the occasional night of studying until sunrise before an exam. Those challenges were real, but they were not what left me most exhausted. The real burden came from something quieter, something I had never even heard of before: the mental load.

The mental load is all of the things you think about, plan for and organize that no one else sees. It is not simply what happens inside the classroom. It is the constant responsibility of keeping your life moving while also trying to keep up with your studies.

The Constant Juggle

In between lectures, I would find myself thinking about whether I had remembered to email my landlord if my OSAP (Ontario Student Assistance Program, a government financial aid program for students) payment had arrived and if I could still buy groceries after paying for rent and textbooks. Sometimes, during a lab session, I would suddenly remember that I needed to register for a career fair or renew my student bus pass.

These tasks were not complicated on their own, but together they preoccupied my mind. They became a layer of invisible work that followed me everywhere, even when I was supposed to be focused on something else.

The Many Small Decisions

One thing I never expected was how many decisions I would have to make each day. From the moment I woke up, I was choosing what to wear, whether to walk or take the bus and which assignment to start first. By the time evening arrived, deciding what to make for dinner felt like a major challenge.

This is called decision fatigue. When your mind is busy shifting between so many small choices all day, even the simplest decision can start to feel overwhelming. It is not a sign that you are careless. It is a sign that your brain has been working without pause.

The Responsibilities We Overlook

Alongside coursework, there is a long list of responsibilities that no one includes in a syllabus:

These tasks may not have deadlines or grades attached to them, but they are essential. As they are not part of the formal academic structure, they can be harder to schedule time for. This means they often remain on your mind until they are done.

Learning to Carry Less

It took me some time to realize that managing the mental load was not about doing more, but about creating habits that reduced the number of decisions I needed to make.

I started eating the same breakfast on weekdays. That small change removed one choice from my mornings and left me with more energy for the day ahead.

I set aside a half hour every other day for administrative tasks. During that time, I answered emails, checked my OSAP account and planned my schedule. Instead of letting those tasks interrupt me throughout the day, I completed them in one block.

When I thought of something I needed to do, I wrote it down in a notebook right away. This helped me trust that I would remember it rather than keeping it in my mind all day.

I also gave myself a few regular choices for meals, outfits and bus routes. Limiting these options made my daily routine feel calmer.

Most importantly, I started taking short walks without my phone. Even ten minutes outside gave me a clearer head and a break from constant input.

Why It Matters

The mental load is a real part of university life and it often goes unnoticed. It is easy to think you are simply bad at managing your time or not working hard enough when, in reality, you are carrying a set of responsibilities that no one else can see.

Recognizing this weight is the first step to making it lighter. By creating routines, writing things down and giving your mind genuine rest, you can protect your energy for the work that matters most.

University is about more than attending lectures and completing assignments. It is about learning to manage the many moving parts of your life in a way that keeps you healthy and balanced. That skill will serve you well long after graduation.

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When I started university, I was quietly hoping for a reset.

I wasn’t bullied or involved in anything dramatic in high school. It's just that I never truly felt like I belonged. I drifted between friend groups, spent lunch breaks alone in the library and often felt like I was watching high school happen from the sidelines. I’d tell myself, “University will be different”. I didn’t know exactly how, but I clung to the hope that it would be.

Spoiler: it was different. But it didn’t change all at once. It started with small moments –some intentional, some unexpected – that helped me feel seen, included and connected.

One of the first surprises about university was how no one cared who you were in high school. It felt like a fresh start – everyone was a stranger, many quietly hoping to redefine themselves. I remember meeting a classmate during orientation who said, “I was really shy in high school. I’m trying to be more outgoing here so bear with me.” That stuck with me. It was the first time I realized that everyone was figuring it out, just like me. It also gave me permission to try something different too.

I didn’t have to impress anyone – I just had to show up.

Those first few weeks were awkward, but also surprisingly meaningful. Everyone seemed open, curious and eager to connect. I made myself go to one welcome event – the Meet and Mingles hosted by the Student Experience Office. And even though I nearly talked myself out of it, going became a turning point. I ended up in a conversation with someone who also hated icebreakers, and we’ve been friends ever since that day. That moment reminded me that connection doesn’t have to start with a perfect introduction. And sometimes, bonding over mutual awkwardness is enough.

Over time, I started looking for small ways to meet people. I said “hi” to someone in lecture. I joined one club that aligned with my interests. And most importantly, I stopped thinking of campus events as awkward. Things like student socials or club meetings aren’t just about filling time but they’re about finding your people. When I joined the student newspaper, I met a group of passionate, creative, thoughtful students who made me feel welcome without me having pressure to perform or impress. I didn’t have to impress anyone – I just had to show up.

It wasn’t always easy. Making new friends as an adult can feel unfamiliar. There’s no assigned seating or group projects to force an interaction. You have to be a little bold, a little awkward and willing to start conversations that might not go anywhere. I began with simple openers like, “Have you taken this professor before?” or “Is this seat taken?”. Not every one of those moments led to a friendship, but some did and that was enough.

What I didn’t expect was how long it takes for real friendships to settle in. It’s not like the movies, where you meet your forever friends in week one. It took time. I kept showing up – at club meetings, in class, at residence events – and gradually, faces became familiar. Familiarity turned into connection. Connection turned into friendship. Some people I barely noticed in September became my closest friends by spring.

You don’t need to reinvent yourself or become the loudest person in the room. You just need to be yourself and be brave enough to try.

Even now, as a fourth-year student with a solid support system, there are still days I feel out of place. But I’ve learned that feeling lonely from time to time doesn’t mean you’re failing at university. It means you’re human. Everyone’s navigating this experience differently, even the ones who seem completely confident.

If you’re coming into university with that same feeling I had – that quiet hope for something better – know this: you’re not alone. There are people on your campus who want connection just as much as you do. I found mine by taking small risks, embracing discomfort and saying “yes” more often than I said “no.”

You don’t need to reinvent yourself or become the loudest person in the room. You just need to be yourself and be brave enough to try.

Your community is out there. Keep showing up.

You’ve got this.

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Embarking on your university journey is like stepping onto a thrilling new path, filled with both promise and potential challenges. For many students—whether domestic or international—it’s a time of newfound independence, academic challenges, and major life transitions. One of the best ways to make this journey smoother is to build a solid support network. This article will guide you through why a support network is crucial, how to start building one, and the various resources available to help you thrive in your first year of university in Canada.

Why a Support Network Matters

Your first year of university is a period of adjustment. You’re navigating new responsibilities, social dynamics, and academic expectations. Having a support network can help ease this transition by providing emotional support, guidance, and practical advice.

A strong support network can:

Making Friends and Connections

The first step in building your support network is connecting with other students. Everyone is in the same boat—looking for friends and adjusting to this new environment.

For international students, making friends may seem intimidating at first, especially if you’re navigating cultural differences or language barriers. But remember that Canadian campuses are very multicultural, and you’ll likely meet students who share similar experiences.

Leveraging University Resources

Canadian universities provide a wealth of resources to help students succeed academically, socially, and emotionally.

For international students, support might also include international student offices, which offer resources specific to students adjusting to life in Canada. They can help with immigration paperwork, offer advice on housing, and organize social events for international students.

Building Academic Relationships

Establishing relationships with your professors, teaching assistants (TAs), and academic advisors can be immensely beneficial.

Strong academic relationships are not just about improving grades. They can also open doors for research opportunities, internships, and letters of recommendation for future career or academic pursuits.

Balancing Personal and Social Life

Building a support network is not just about academics—it’s also about maintaining a healthy balance between your personal and social life.

Navigating Cultural Differences (For International Students)

For international students, adjusting to a new culture can add an extra layer of complexity to the university experience. But it also presents opportunities to enrich your university journey.

Tips for Maintaining Your Support Network

Once you’ve started building your network, it’s essential to maintain it. Strong relationships require effort, but the rewards are well worth it.

Building a support network in your first year of university is one of the most important things you can do to ensure a smooth and enjoyable transition. Whether you’re a domestic or international student, taking the time to connect with peers, professors, and campus resources will help you navigate the ups and downs of university life. Remember, university is not just about academics—it’s about building lifelong connections and creating a support system that will help you thrive both inside and outside the classroom.

By taking small steps to connect with others, asking for help when you need it, and maintaining a balance between your academic and personal life, you’ll find yourself in a strong, supportive community that helps you make the most of your university experience.

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